Autism And The Misunderstood Child

A few days ago, my daughter went to the playground to enjoy some nice time outdoors. The winters here in northeastern Ontario are cold and snowy, so she was excited to spend time at the playground. The weather is not actually warm yet, but now that spring has arrived, our mindset is to enjoy outdoor time whenever possible. The park is very close to our home. In fact, I am able to watch her play from where we live. She proudly went to play and was having a nice time. Unfortunately, she came back home after about 10 minutes. She was crying and very upset. Some boys at the playground began making fun of her and the fact she has autism. When she returned home, she told me the boys had said a lot of negative words towards her, and even managed to put down the other family members too. One thing they kept telling her is that she is “dumb because she is special needs.” Yes, my daughter has autism, but she is not dumb…far from it actually. She is in grade 4 and her last report card had only A’s and B’s for grades. She has made a lot of progress since being diagnosed at the age of 2 and I thank God for her improvement. The boys who were making fun are in grade 2, so I know their understanding of autism is likely limited. Still, it was not right that they were making fun of my daughter and her family. I walked back to the playground with my daughter to talk with the boys. When we walked up, the boys ran off to try to hide from us. Then, the mom of one of the boys came up and told me “you’d better not yell at my son.” I worked hard and remained calm and told her I was not going to. She said “I’m just warning you.” I asked the boys what happened and got some information, but not all, of course. One of the boys apologized. However, the other two did not. At least I got to tell them that my daughter is not stupid, along with reminding them that their put downs are hurtful and not helpful. I know their attention span, especially on a spring day, is not long-lasting. Still, it was worthwhile to me to come back to the playground with my daughter. Not sure how much was accomplished, but I have keep at this both when it comes to helping my daughter and to educating and informing those who do not understand the “misunderstood child.”

The Misunderstood Child

I am the child that looks healthy and fine.
I was born with ten fingers and toes.
But something is different, somewhere in my mind,
And what it is, nobody knows.

I am the child that struggles in school,
Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.
They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try –
But I don’t seem to know where to start.

I am the child that won’t wear the clothes
Which hurt me or bother my feet.
I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells,
And tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.

I am the child that can’t catch the ball
And runs with an awkward gait.
I am the one chosen last on the team
And I cringe as I stand there and wait.

I am the child with whom no one will play –
The one that gets bullied and teased.
I try to fit in and I want to be liked,
But nothing I do seems to please.

I am the child that tantrums and freaks
Over things that seem petty and trite.
You’ll never know how I panic inside,
When I’m lost in my anger and fright.

I am the child that fidgets and squirms
Though I’m told to sit still and be good.
Do you think that I choose to be out of control?
Don’t you know that I would if I could?

I am the child with the broken heart
Though I act like I don’t really care.
Perhaps there’s a reason God made me this way –
Some message He sent me to share.

For I am the child that needs to be loved
And accepted and valued too.
I am the child that is misunderstood.
I am different – but look just like you.

by Kathy Winters

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